For irksome reasons less apparent to me, the past few months have made me feel like I have hit a “dry spell,” – a completely callous void of an inner passion that in the past gave great way to my creative thoughts and ideas, natural flow and ease of script. Although my touch hasn’t been lost quite yet, I helplessly and dreadfully search for more personal drive – I’ve ultimately got no one to blame but myself.
In an attempt for self-redemption, I am following the example and words of wisdom and inspiration of a fellow blogger and dear friend whose genuine determination, effortless creativity and beautiful work has continued to always uplift my spirits and offer a better sense of myself.
Dear 16-year old Me,
You have brought yourself onto the right path. Your expectations of a graciously paved Yellow Brick road are crushed – your path is a simple dirt road. The soil is a mix of dusty, sandy and messy struggles of deceit, heartbreak, lost hopes and dreams, inner torment and frustrations. Holding your breath, your head is now down and your arms out for balance. You slowly take your first step while your eager, nervous gaze will help you attempt to avoid every gravel and cobble of pain, sorrow, regret, guilt and despair. There is little room. Each step of distress is nothing but a careful and planned tiptoe – microscopic and forced, weak and uncertain of the next. You reach out for a hand but there is no one in sight. You are your own guide.
Let yourself walk freely down the path. Cleanse yourself of doubt. It will only hold you chained back. You will never learn to fully live if you don’t let go of your fearful ways.
Release the grip of flawlessness. Ardently strive for what is worth to you, but cease to strive for perfection. Make mistakes. Learn to embrace rejection and admit defeat. Pick your battles. Think sharply, but speak softly. Be humble, but learn to always love, honor and praise yourself.
Be happy. Find a joy in your life. You have a perpetual obligation to interminably search, and walk the earth if need be, until you find your place of happiness. Settle for what is right for you. Make eternal peace with all that you will achieve. Take chances. Opportunities often come in disguised clothes.
You love to learn – now do the opposite. Learn to love again. Slowly, you will do so at your own pace. You will do so differently, for no lover is ever the same because you never are the same. Don’t kid yourself, but have the courage to change what is within your good reason and power – in yourself and/or the other person. As impossible as it might seem at times, make a conscious effort to learn from your past. Most importantly, fully put the past behind you. Radically free yourself of the overcast it creates on your present and future. Believe with every fiber of your being that it has happened for a reason and that love will find you again, in a much better place.
Embrace your ever-changing ways; gear them towards positive possibilities. Dance a lot and enjoy your younger years. Take life seriously, but know when to kick back also. Believe the world is a good place. Help a total stranger again. You will never forget how good it makes you feel. Be amazed of what you’re capable of. Believe in yourself and always be more patient and more kind. Meet many people and make ever-lasting connections. Be full of life even when your heart is breaking. Give more than what is asked for. Demand less than what you want. Travel the world and enjoy nature in all of its grandiosity. Be thankful for a healthy body and try your best to age gracefully. Keep your loved ones close to your heart, be thankful for them and learn to never take them for granted. They will be the ones who will stand by you till the end of your journey.
Have faith in fate and in God. Be closer to Him and feel His love more often, in all times. He will never forget about you. Forever by your side, He walks the dirt road with you.
(less than one and a half months shy of turning) 24-year old Me