These are just jumbled opinions and bits and pieces of my own experiences, tied in with my ever-changing and ever-perfecting thought process related to MEN and WOMEN and the ever-intricate and magnificent relationships between the two.
It could also be due to the fact that I've recently been engaging in what appear to be full-on dating activities. With just ONE guy. One (lucky, lucky) hunk of a guy. It's been an interesting almost 3 months now, but I am just quite unsure about where I stand with it all. My exterior will always seem very tough and composed, but that's only because the inside gets mushier and mushier by the minute. (YUCK!) But alas, I am a girl, and I'd like to be able to come to terms with it all... So I LIKE THE GUY. Sue me. (OK, that's enough mush.)
In order to be respected, appreciated and loved by a man, YOU HAVE TO BE A BITCH. By “bitch,” I mean you have to learn to stand your ground. (I have come to embrace the term fully, it's my "steel magnolia" of a term.) You have to learn to set the pace of any “relation” with a man from the very beginning. That means that you aren’t afraid to state what you want. You want a booty call – it’s on your terms, you got it. You want to be in a relationship – you expect this and that. YOU DO NOT SETTLE. You cannot be too nice. Men will see that from the very beginning and they will rip you apart, piece-by-piece. They will do everything they can to: act interested, then disappear/flake and leave you high and dry (when they feel like they have you), they will stop putting in work in the relationship and take you for granted and see you as a MOTHER (once you lower your expectations, become too nice, GIVE A LOT and TAKE/except little, or you start to NAG, wishing things were the way “they used to be in the beginning.”) Men are HUNTERS. They need to be kept on their toes. A bitch knows this and a bitch does this best. Distance and mystery – don’t let him know EVERYTHING. Don’t expect him to reciprocate with anything. Pull away and then you’ll see how he’ll come for more.
In order to effectively rev into motion this process, women have to deal with one of the biggest issues: FEAR. We are constantly afraid of speaking our minds because we fear the man will then just walk away. THERE’S ALWAYS GOING TO BE THAT POSSIBILITY. You can’t live in fear every day of your life; as the relationship gets stronger, you will feel more and more confident that the man in your life will want nothing more than to stick around with you. And for good reasons too: you are keeping him on his toes, you respect yourself enough to speak your mind and all that you want. You are independent, love yourself and have a life of your own. You don’t depend on him – for anything. You are your OWN PERSON and you are happy, no matter what.
Bottom line is, women stand to lose more by sticking around than by speaking their minds to men who might potentially walk out of their lives. I’d rather speak my mind and know that I have been 100% honest with myself. If he can’t see that, then he is not for me. And yes, I will know once he walks out that, as much as it would suck major balls, I DODGED A MAJOR FUCKING BULLET.
You cannot be affected by every move he makes. He is not the “be all and end all” of you. You give him as much as he gives you. You come clean about your feelings (should they ensue after a period of time) but you also keep them in check, at all times.