For most of us, the indifference stance is fervently adopted as a stoic response to negative experiences. We get shot down, so we don’t care anymore. We’re heartbroken, so fuck that noise. Kick rocks, bitch. We become emotionless, unaffected. Robots. Indifference just becomes a sad cover-up. And it usually is followed by the undeniable regret.
True indifference, however, stems from a quiet place. It’s not meant to act as a defense mechanism of any kind. On the contrary - it brings about closure and peace.
When I was younger, my mom once told me how being indifferent is the wisest way to deal with certain aspects of life. Indifference is worse than feeling “hate.” Gosh – hate. Really, mom? Hate carries as much heavy emotional artillery as its complete opposite. LOVE. And the two often are coupled together in our hearts and minds. We love to hate. We hate to love. Double whammy. But indifference will just stare you in the face. Indifference will not smile or wink at you. It will not scream at you or curse you out. It will just stare you blankly and calmly in the face. And there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.
Once all my emotions have been exhausted, I become indifferent. I’m stripped of all emotions. I no longer love, hate, care, fear, long, desire, want, lust, hunger, doubt, wonder, question, admire, assume, demand, or crave. I’m no longer happy, tender, excited, scared, sad or angry. I no longer experience: pride, pity, misery, regret, sorry, shock, horror, guilt, embarrassment, euphoria, despair, hope, envy, disappointment, contempt, or anxiety. YUP, even apathy.
I’m just fucking INDIFFERENT.